Inevitability of faff
I had a slow day today; my arch nemesis has come. Boredom of invariety. I always begin a new project with such enthusiasm and (usually) within a few days, I am usually distracted and my motivation is flagging. Somehow, this time, it has lasted about 1 month. I guess I should be proud of myself for keeping it up for so long, especially compared to my previous self. I have learnt a lot and improved my focus considerably, yet I still can't help but feel a tinge of sadness that this boredom and lack of motivation is inevitable – regardless of subject. Perhaps this frees me from the idea that I should just find something and bam, like a Disney movie, I will never be bored again and productivity will be flowing out of my ears. I know this rationally, but emotionally, I can't seem to let go of this naivety.
My supervisor talks about my lack of ability to cut through the 'faff'. A word he uses to refer to as the boring parts of work; he is right. My ability to cut through the faff has been very lacking, and I think this might be one of the most important things holding me back at the moment. Of course, I understand it is quite difficult right now with lockdown and not much variety and I try to be easier on myself than previously. I have a bad track record of being very harsh on myself, but that is its own bag of worms. Hope you folks are holding on holding on. Talk soon.